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On Sunday it was the American Embassy for a reception to meet the First Lady

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On Sunday it was the American Embassy, for a reception to meet the First Lady Yes, they really do call her that It's not just a shorthand term, dreamt up by the media It's official - I have it here, printed on my invitation. "A Reception in Honor of the First Lady." Note also the American spelling. Once you get on one invitation list, for whatever reason, I suspect they hand your name and address around. You wait 20 years, then two come along almost at the same time. A fortnight ago, it was 10 Downing Street for a reception given by dear Tone and the lovely Cherie. But Leach is, as ever, reluctant to be too judgemental - she could see there would be times when a vital meeting at work might necessitate it.

No, she could never have done it herself - "but then I found it very difficult to be a proper professional mother."`Your Baby & Child' (Penguin, pounds 15.99). No, that's too much for me." We discuss how any mother could do this - though I can summon up half-a-dozen who wouldn't hesitate. In the past Leach has criticised nursery care, particularly for small babies, for whom one stable care- giver is so important. But she is currently involved in a research project to assess the long-term effects of day care, and believes that in some families it may well be a valuable solution."I know of so-called stay-at-home mothers in America who spend the day on the golf course, leaving the children with au pairs. And she is particularly alarmed about the American concept of "sick child day care"; they are opening up special wards in hospitals for children who are not well enough to go to their ordinary day care."Imagine - a sick child, being looked after by complete strangers.

Asked whether she has any regrets about anything she did as a parent, she says she still feels guilty about going back to work too soon after her two-year-old had meningitis. I wouldn't say that those children are getting more love and security than a child at a good nursery." One thing she is adamant about, though: a mother should always stay with a sick child. And I suppose, if that's preaching, then I'll have to take the fall for it."One of the biggest changes in the years since Baby & Child was first published is the increase in day care. You won't be able to look something up in the index and find a statement that will `put you right' on it. It's about to what extent you feel the same side of the fence as your children - do as you would be done by.

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