The moment became a turning point in Ulster's history as the Sinn F? president Gerry Adams was forced to declare that another such

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The moment became a turning point in Ulster's history, as the Sinn F? president, Gerry Adams, was forced to declare that another such atrocity would utterly undermine the Republican cause.Something is transformed, in such moments, in the soul of society and of the person who forgives Gee Walker understands the personal dimension of that. "Why live a life sentence? Hate killed my son, so why should I be a victim too? Unforgiveness makes you a victim and why should I be a victim?"But Archbishop Desmond Tutu articulated the social dimension of the same insight at the weekend in the remarkable BBC 2 programmeFacing the Truth, which brought face to face victims and killers from Northern Ireland's Troubles.The archbishop, who oversaw the running of the Truth and Reconciliation Commission in his South Africa after the end of apartheid, said that for the victims, "holding on to your resentment means you are locked into your victimhood - and you allow the perpetrator to have a hold over your life. When you forgive, you let go, it sets you free, and it will probably set free the perpetrator. There is much to be won from making yourself a little vulnerable." For society that gave a way out of a cycle of recriminations about the past.It is a truth which reaches beyond South Africa Forgiveness is a process rather than an act The theologian Henri Nouwen understood that.

His book The Return of the Prodigal Son is a meditation on the gospel parable as illustrated in Rembrandt's painting of the same name. Initially, he explains, we are drawn to the image of the prodigal himself, putting ourself in his shoes, recalling the wrongs we have done in our life, feeling his guilt, expressing his repentance - although we resist the idea that we need complete forgiveness because it goes against our human nature.It is only later in life that we realise we have more in common with the elder son in the parable, who does not stray, but stays at home and works his father's land - and is deeply resentful of the prodigality of the father's generosity in welcoming back his errant younger son. His self-righteousness is the more common response, and just as in need of the father's forgiveness.Again it is more difficult to translate this away from the personal, which is what Desmond Tutu has been trying to do. But the wrongs of contemporary society are as much breaks in good relations between classes, races and nations as ruptures in relationships between individuals. So what we need to address that is a politics of forgiveness.It is important not to confuse forgiveness with pardon.

Truth and Reconciliation Commissions will not always be a substitute for justice. Nor does forgiving someone such as Myra Hindley mean it was not right that she should die in prison. And sometimes the time is not right for forgiveness.On Facing the Truth Clifford Burrage was brought face-to-face with Mary McLarnon, whose brother he had shot as a young soldier in Belfast in 1971.The ghosts that haunted them were laid bare in what Desmond Tutu called the ritual of forgiveness. But though Mr Burrage asked to be forgiven, Mary McLarnon could not give it Even so there was a clear sense of progress made It may yet come. As it may for the vicar in Bristol.Not everyone is convinced.